It seemed like an unconscious death wish. He had spoken to one of the rangers a day or two ago and was told that this time of year the grizzly were grazing on pine nuts just below the timberline. OK….certainly when he hooked up with his companions in a couple days they would likely prefer to hike in the lower elevations and avoid an unnecessary confrontation, once they heard his clear recommendation from the experienced ranger.
Driving up to the agreed upon camp location, he first noticed his cousin hanging laundry, and his longtime friend from Mexico sitting at a table crying and frantically writing in a notebook. Upon greeting, his friend hugged him and began to speak very emotionally about the “great towers”, once representing American power, now crumbled. He was writing poetry and trying to make sense of the chaos. Later his brother arrived after 14 hours of driving and listening to NPR commentary on the event.
That night around the fire was disturbing to say the least. There was endless discussion, most simply confirming what was heard, and what was true. There was a clear sense of uneasiness and a rare feeling of anxiety, typically not welcomed on such trips. Strange time. Not even the Jack seemed to medicate as well as usual.
The talk shifted to the hike the next morning. The cousin wanted to hike right up the canyon into the high country and see the bears. He did not. His brother was impartial. There was some disagreement, but come sunrise we were up and on our way. As we moved further up, he was glad that fire had ravaged these area just years before, and he was able to see what was happening ahead through the branchless trees. Around each rock outcropping he anticipated, only to find himself staring at his own fear. Even though he became convinced that his cousin may have been planning on dying up in this valley, he decided to relax and embrace it all.
Sitting in a burned out forest eating lunch, listening to the whine and moan of bare dead trees swaying to and fro from the strong alpine wind, they looked across a small mountain pond and saw a bear eating a dead elk carcass behind a large log along the shoreline. A good view, from a distance.
As they headed back down the valley he noticed how quickly his cousin moved down the trail and out of the bear habitat. Not much of a death wish after all he concluded.
